It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
