drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize