I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize