sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
