At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
two words...techno handjob
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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