Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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