Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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