Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize