I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
