woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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