Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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