sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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