i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm like, not good at living.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
