We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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