Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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