I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
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