After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
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I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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