this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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