just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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