If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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