Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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