i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
