So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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