Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
