Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Randomize
