I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
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