i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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