I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize