The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize