Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
