So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
