I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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