i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
