You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
