i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
