Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
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I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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