um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
