Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
try to milk me bitch
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
