Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
