drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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