On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
