video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
