Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
