You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
