As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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