His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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