Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
