it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I will pee on everything he values.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
