You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
