those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
