Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
