i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
