I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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