This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize