the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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